The one?

Why is it when you get tired you usually think about the things you try and keep out of your mind? Its usually something about the one that got away, the one you let go, the one you wish you could still be with, etc. You then realize how long you have actually been alone, but you know you havent been alone the whole time... have you? I mean you have friends who understand you and you can goto with your problems because they have the same type of problems themselves. You also have your memories of everything, how good everything was, how perfect life seemed, how perfect the other person was for you, etc. Then again you realize how long you have actually been alone and it hits you like a ton of bricks, even if you dont show it on the outside it kills you inside. You begin to wonder what is left inside that keeps you going back for a beating every time you dream of them, and you wonder what is left inside that keeps getting you up again. Your emotions are usually the thing left that keeps you dreaming for a beating, and raises you up once again from your beating. If you havent noticed people will always hide their emotions in one way or another, then after your emotions are shown you find a new way to hide them, this time a way that changes your actions just enough to where it will be difficult for people to uncover your emotions once again. With your new actions/outlook on life, or whatever you wish to call it, you continue life once again toward the goal you have set for yourself this time strengthened by the fact that you are stronger because of your past actions. You then slowly start to forget the people that attacked these emotions, or uncovered those emotions, no matter if it was on purpose or if it was an accident. Now the ones you let get away, the ones you let go, and the ones you wish you could still be with become faint memories which seem to be absorbed by the ones you now care about, the ones you are now with, and the ones you wish you could be with forever. You will always see something you like in the people you meet because they have something in common with ones that got away, the ones you let go, the ones you wish you could still be with, the ones you are with now, the ones you care about, and the ones you wish you can be with forever. From here you will realize that everyone is connected to everyone else because in the end we all care about something that someone else will and they will care about something that someone else will and so on until everyone is connected. So the one you cared about so much is actually one of millions upon millions of people that you could meet and get to know, all you have to do is find them and take the time to get to know them, and since there are so many people in the world this should be difficult. The one drawback is there are also restrictions that you have to take into consideration, restrictions based on belief, the way you were raised, etc. So in the end the one that was as special as you thought was, but chances that you wont find someone else just as special to you are so slim that you shouldn't even worry about it. The thing you should worry about is getting some sleep and take care of your goals in life first, becuase good things come to those who wait, and if you be yourself when that time comes you should have nothing to worry about. Now for me, I need some sleep because I know I have goals that I need to complete tomorrow.

Little end note here... This isnt about anyone in particular in my life, so please please please dont read too much into this. I dont want to get too many questions about what its about either, there is no hidden message, all it is are my thoughts, right, wrong or indifferent.

-In the end all we are is human, and humans make mistakes.